


Soft Smiles

by OneLonelyWriter



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Fixing themselves, Love, Nightmares, Oblivious But Not Quite, Post-Canon, Princesses Teasing Catradora, Repairing Relationships, but they're cute because they are so, dying inside... with happiness..., season 5, they're still awkward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24231565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneLonelyWriter/pseuds/OneLonelyWriter
Summary: After the defeat of Horde Prime, Catra and Adora are still awkward dorks stumbling through their relationship but both are determined to make it through this together.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 77
Kudos: 889





	1. Just the Beginning

After the defeat of Horde Prime with the destruction of the Heart of Etheria, everyone was left to pick up the pieces of their parts in the Rebellion. Everyone was scattered around, trying to check on their friends and teammates, helping where they could with the things that couldn't be repaired from magic.

They had all moved quickly back to Brightmoon to try and reclaim the kingdom and set everyone up comfortably. Not everyone had a place to stay with lots of stranglers in the Rebellion, and most of the rooms being reserved for the injured or exhausted.

And among them somewhere was Adora, to which Catra was desperately looking for. She didn't try to hide it, actively going up to everyone and asking for her, her worry presently on her face and voice.

Adora had disappeared shortly after they got back to Brightmoon, saying she wanted to go talk to the other princesses, and had disappeared into the crowd. And now Catra can't find her and was freaking out.

A normal reaction for her. How else is she suppose to react to losing her almost-dead-but-revived new girlfr... girlfriend.

Catra could sense the distrust from everyone of Brightmoon, seeing them looking down at her, as they just shook their heads at her sadly and walked away to go help someone else. She could understand why nobody trusted her, didn't want to point her in the direction of the infamous She-Ra, but god, did it start to get frustrating.

But all she did was thank them and wave them away before going onto the next person with the same results, until finally she reached the entrance room of the castle where all the other princesses were hanging out.

She walked up to them, and Scorpia was the first to get up and greet her in a hug, that she tolerated (or maybe liked, not like she would admit it). Scorpia pulled back with a soft smile and staring down at her, "Hey, Wildcat. Good to see you around."

The others followed suit, some more reluctant than others, but all welcomed her. She was meet with a chorus "Heys" and "Hellos" and a "What she doing here" from Frosta before she was quieted by Perfuma, who listened.

Scorpia looked tired, for once. They all did. Perfuma and Frosta didn't look that bad, Entrapta looked as giddy as ever but she had a sad gleam to her eye, Mermista was holding a hand to her head (Catra could relate) with Seahawk staying close to her side.

And that's what Catra wanted for Adora right now, to stay by her side. Her tail flicks with worry.

She didn't smile at them, too filled with worry, but raised her hand in a very quick wave before lowering it and looking towards them, "Have you guys seen Adora?"

Some of them glanced at each other in confusion, others did so to smirk at each other, and some (Scorpia and Entrapta) full-on grinned at each other.

But either way, Perfuma answered her question with a genuine small smile, "No. She hasn't been over here yet. We assume she went to go talk to Bow and Glimmer."

Adora hasn't been over to talk to them yet? Where has she gone?

Catra nods at her and asks, "And where are they?" There's no way Adora didn't tell them where she was going, or at least, they wouldn't know where she was. Obviously she'd tell them and not her-

"They're farther in." Scorpia interrupts, and gestures through the open grand archway leading into the main hall, "Probably in the throne or war room. But we don't know for sure."

Catra must have a puzzled look on her face because Mermista interjects with a groan (from annoyance or pain, she can't tell. Probably both), "Just go a few rooms down the hall and turn left, the war room is the first one with the larger door. And just walk straight to get to the throne room, it's opened up with a lot of space and... thrones."

Catra acknowledges her and turns to leave to only be stopped by a hand on her shoulder by Scorpia (because why would anyone else touch her) that makes her flinch a bit, then relax. Scorpia grins like she always does, and this one is entirely genuine, "Hope you find her."

Catra looks down to the glass floor with her ears lowering in embarrassment and starts walking away right through them, muttering out, "Yeah, thanks" as she makes a hasty retreat away from them. She can still feel the smile and confused glances behind her, watching her back.

Catra keeps her gaze down for a bit, until she glances up once she sees a majestic (and horribly flashy) grand door to her side on the hall. This must be the throne room, she assumes, and pushes it open.

It creaks when she opens it, and she curses it when Glimmer, Bow, and Micah turn to her with confused glances. Glimmer and Bow light up instantly once they see her and beckon her closer to the confusion but acceptance of Micah's gaze.

Glimmer teleports literally like only ten feet closer to her to wrap an arm around her shoulder (which Catra only once again tolerates, of course...) and Bow puts a hand on her shoulder once her reaches her as well.

Micah only looks at them with a small smile... that he wouldn't have if he had only known what she's done.

They lead her over to the table, filled with maps and tracker pads, full of red and green marks on them. She wants to ask about it, but that isn't her main priority, and even before she can open her mouth, Glimmer beats her to it, "Adora's in her room."

Catra looks at her in a bit of shock, and Glimmer smiles at her, and beats her once again, "We Etherians are so predictable."

Catra can only snort at the statement that has been thrown back at her so many times, "I suppose we are." But then Catra looks back up at them, "So-"

Bow and Glimmer only tilt their heads at her, smiling innocently, "Uh... How-how do I get there?"

"Where?" They ask simultaneously, Glimmer leaning closer to her with her hands behind her back, and Bow looking down at his tracker pad to pretend he's busy. Even Micah has caught on and looks amused, glancing at her.

"To-" But then she sees them both smirk, trying and failing miserably to cover it up. Her tail fluffs up and her ears lean back into her head, and she says with a small growl, "Both of you are brats."

Catra sees them try not to laugh, but they fail once again, chuckling at her being flustered. Catra grabs her tail to smooth down the fur, to which Bow coos at, and perks up her ears to the sound of their laughter, with Micah joining in with soft deep-voiced chuckles at their antics.

Glimmer takes Catra's arm, and starts to walk away from the table, Bow following her and grabbing her hand. Catra looks down at their interlinked hands and wished that was her and Adora.

Glimmer turns her head back to her father, saying to him, "Bow and I will be back in a minute once we bring Catra-" Glimmer looks at Catra with a smirk, to which she looks away for a moment, "-To Adora's room."

Micah smiles at his daughter, then teases as the door is about to close, "Don't have too much fun." And the door closes behind them, Glimmer and Bow looking too amused with themselves.

They start to walk down the hall together in silence, Catra following slightly behind to let them lead the way but still be next to them, and takes in the scenery of the castle, all grand and glossy. Everything looks the same, clean and polished on all the same surfaces.

No pictures really hang up, no exotic rugs or plants hang all over the place. It really isn't what Catra was expecting from a grand kingdom's castle. Really, the only thing truly amazing about this place is the glass windows looking out, where the places Brightmoon overlook are definitely a sight to see.

Catra's brought out of her musings when Bow breaks it with a worried question, "So... what exactly happened to you and Adora down at the Heart? She won't tell us about it." He slows down very slightly to match her pace, letting Glimmer lead them forth.

"Well we-" She starts to answer, then stops. What can she say about the experience? What will she say? Even Catra can't make a cohesive thought about what happened down there half the time, "Shadow Weaver came with me to help Adora once you guys split, and I tried to stop the weird ass creature left down there while Adora tried to make it to the heart with Shadow Weaver."

Glimmer and Bow are rightfully concerned by the mention of Shadow Weaver, having noticed her lack of an absence, but neither Catra nor Adora would talk about it right away, and they jumped to their own conclusions, "What did she do? Did she try to take the magic?" Glimmer questioned, glancing over her shoulder at Catra.

Catra ran a hand through her short hair, missing her old wild mane, and let out a long sigh, "No... She came back to help me once the 'thing' got me, and she... died... trying to help us."

Catra remembered. She remembered the broken mask on the ground, symbolizing how Shadow Weaver had finally let her mask down and showed her true self. Catra felt a bit guilty about how she treated her redemption, remembering the tears she and Adora both shed.

"Oh." Is all they utter.

Catra continues firmly, not wanting to dwell on what had happened to her, "Adora and I made it down to the Heart, but she had gotten struck by the creature, and it was taking it's toll. She wasn't able to get to the Heart right away, and I honestly thought that- that... I would lose her again." Catra can feel her fists clench and her claws poking into her skin, remembering how heavy her heart felt.

And then, she reminds herself of how light and warm she felt when she and Adora- actually kissed. Catra smiles just thinking about it, "But, we made it. And she activated it."

Once they realize Catra stopped and wouldn't elaborate, Bow got a bit closer to her and questioned, "How though?"

Catra didn't answer the question, she didn't really want to reveal details even if it was already a widely spread secret regarding her and Adora. It felt weird and wrong to talk about that intimate moment.

A moment a peace amongst a universal war that was reserved only for the two.

And luckily she was spared to answer as Glimmer stopped in front of them, forcing the other two to stop behind her where they had lagged as well.

Glimmer gestures with her head at the ordinary (how could a castle be ordinary) door, "Adora's in here. She's probably resting, and she needs it." Glimmer turns around to face Catra with a raised brow, and a small but serious smile, "So please, don't bother her too much."

Catra snorts at the implication, "No problem. I'll be sure to launch myself on the bed first instance."

Glimmer gives a grin to her, stepping around Catra, "Sounds good. We'll come back later to check up on you two-"

"You don't need to do that."

"Oh, I'm sure we do." Bow says with an amused tilt to her voice, and slightly pushes Catra to make her face straight at the door, then his voice turns takes a concerned edge, "Besides, we're worried for her too."

"Okay, okay, Sparkles. Arrow Boy." She sees Glimmer smile at the nickname, while Bow also smiles but a bit more puzzled, "See you in a bit."

"Later, Horde scum." Glimmer said back to her with a smile and no bite as she took Bow's hand and teleported away from the door. All that remained in their place was a bunch of actual sparkles. Catra snorted at that.

But she was suddenly claimed by anxiety as she turned to Adora's door, no more special than any others in the long hall, and contemplated her presence.

Did Adora want her? Would she be okay? Would they be okay?

Catra stood shaking for a good few moments, hands perfectly straight at her side, eyes wide and locked onto the intimidating door in front of her, tail curled around her.

But Catra huffed at herself and pushed away all her doubts and fears, putting her hand on the door-

And let it slide open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Lots of Catradora next chapter, because they are adorable dorks.


	2. Nightmares and Reassurances

Bright, is the first thing Catra thinks when walking into the room, letting the door slide behind her.

The room is barely decorated, but still has the same glossy and shiny walls, there's plants that hang around the room, some hanging on the walls. A few rugs adorn the shiny floors below her, and help muffle the sound of her already silent steps. There's a large, round paned window on the right side of the room that shines directly over the bed and over to the other side of the room.

At the center of the room is a huge fluffy bed, with the sheets all curled and clumped up around something. It raises very softly and Catra smiles, starting to walk over to the figure on the bed, Adora she assumes, and check up on her until a glint of light shines right in her eye, reflecting off of the surface of the table to her left.

Catra's gaze follows the light and sees sitting scattered across the table is... the remains of She-Ra's sword. She remembers seeing the shards of it, Adora sometimes holding the broken hilt when she thought nobody was looking, but didn't see what had happened to it afterwards.

Catra would have thought Adora would have finally gotten rid of it after being able to summon She-Ra back a few times, but it seems she wasn't able to let go of the past.

Walking over with silent footsteps, Catra reaches the long table and stops in front to look at the remains of the sword. The light blue of the blade seems dull now without the energy coursing through it, with sharp and jagged edges of where it cracked. The golden hilt is intact, but the blue gemstone in the center has a long and deep crack through it, the power source of the sword, and renders it useless.

She remembers being told that the sword got shattered by Adora driving it into the ground with the intention of breaking it and severing her connection with it and the gemstone. And none of them seemed to realize afterwards what that would mean for She-Ra... or Adora.

Catra raised a slightly shaky hand over the sword, running her fingers along the hilt of the sword and up over the broken pieces, some clinking as they move with the pressure of her fingers. The times she had held the sword, it was heavy and seemed to hum with unlimited energy. It felt powerful... and right now, looking at the remains, it feels like that type of power was lost in such a cruel way.

But not a loss of power for Catra, no, but for Adora. How must she feel losing something that connected with her and helped her unlock She-Ra in the first place? To know that the thing she felt held all her power was actually just a source of manipulation and her destruction?

A mewl brings her back from her thoughts that had started to grow deeper, and Catra looks over in confusion to the sound. Melog sits there, curled up and head raised looking at her, over the form of Adora under the sheets. He looks innocent, with his blue light mane shining over the rest of his dull body, waving slightly in the presence of no breeze.

Catra couldn't recall seeing him once they had started packing up and leading everyone back to Brightmoon, so he must have followed Adora then since he's only ever with her or Catra.

He mewls once more at her, insistent, telling her that she should come over, and she's about to refuse his invitation, until Adora slightly shifts under his paws that lay over her side and lets out a huff. It sounds a bit pained, raised to something just short of a whimper, that has Catra's worry raise and slide over to the two.

Adora's head is mostly under the covers, pulled up to her nose, with only her blonde hair and clenched eyes peeking over. A nightmare, or flashes, Catra assumes. She's had enough to know the symptoms of her own unconscious mind. Melog gives a low but concerned whine, asking what's wrong, and Catra is about to reach out to Adora with Melog moving over Adora to sit on the other side of the bed with no dip in the mattress.

Catra reaches out her hand, about to touch Adora's side, before slightly hesitating. She suddenly feels nervous about waking her, thinking back about how Adora wouldn't want to see her, or how Adora definitely doesn't want anyone to see her like this. She knows the feeling too much, and it hurts that Adora knows it too.

But, her worry wins out over whatever reaction Adora may have to her and puts her hand on her side, barely even making contact before Adora jumps up and lets out a startled gasp that had Catra reeling back.

Adora looks around wildly for a moment, before seemingly recognizing her own room and settles down, looking right and over at Catra. They lock gazes. Catra's wide mismatched eyes nervous and worried, Adora's bright blue eyes confused and startled.

They don't say anything for a few moments, until Catra lets out a squeaky, "Hey Adora."

Adora gives an equally awkward, "Hey Catra." A meow to the side of Adora draws her attention, both looking over to Melog who said hi, and he suddenly pounces on Adora and pins her back down onto the mattress of the bed, "And Melog."

She runs a hand over his head and he lays sideways on her, looking up at Catra. He doesn't say anything, but she knows what he's thinking. Adora looks back over at Catra, stopping petting Melog who glances at her in betrayal, and asks Catra who's just standing next to the bed, "What are you doing here?"

Adora is looking curiously at her, tilting her head, and Catra is pretty sure she might die from how hard her heart is beating, "Oh, I- uh... I didn't see you since we got back here and wanted to check up on you."

"Aww, you actually care about me." Adora smirks and teases, she turns back to her side after pushing Melog off her who whines in protest.

"Don't flatter yourself." Catra rolls her eyes, before looking down at where the sheets had fallen down, exposing Adora's side and showing the rip of the shirt where the slash sits there. It no longer shows any green infection, but instead shows a swarm of red. Her blood. It doesn't seem to be bleeding, and doesn't seem to be as deep as it was, but it's still worrying, since Adora hasn't gotten it check out yet.

Adora follows her gaze of where Catra is looking down at her side, and covers it by casually moving her arm over it, making Catra look up at her calm expression. "It's fine," she says, "It's not that bad anymore. It's mostly just the exhaustion now. I just need some time. I'm still having trouble summoning She-Ra."

Catra waves a hand dismissively, trying to reassure Adora, "You'll get it. I know you will. Besides, when has the impossible ever stopped you?"

Adora lets out a huff of a laugh at her joke, before smiling somberly, "It almost did."

Seeing Adora down like this and questioning herself feels wrong from the normally shining girl, which prompts Catra to impulsively grab both her hands that rest on the bed, "But it didn't, Adora. And guess what? It's over now, because of you. You're a hero."

"So are you." Adora tightens the hold on Catra's hands fractionally, having them rest between them, "I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. Not of us would've."

Catra scoffs, "You would've found a way. You're She-Ra."

"No, I'm just Adora." She shakes her head, then it lowers to make her look down at their hands to not meet Catra's piercing gaze, "Now, I'm just Adora."

"And Adora is even better than She-Ra." Catra insists.

"That's not what everyone else thinks."

"That's because they don't know you. The Adora I know. If they did, they would all change their mind."

Adora looks back up to her mismatched eyes, her own shining, and gives a genuine smile to her, "Thanks, Catra."

"Yeah, yeah. No need to get sappy. And even if you are She-Ra," Catra disconnected their hands, grasping Adora's shoulders firmly, "Adora needs rest." And she pushes her back onto the bed, pinning her shoulders there, then rising back up. And before she could even start walking away, Adora stops her.

"Wait, Catra." Adora reaches out quickly to grab her wrist, stopping her in her tracks and making Catra look back at her with a raised brow. She says the next part in a low voice, seemingly embarrassed as she asks, "Will you stay with me?"

Catra eyes widen a fraction, her breath catching in her throat, as she turns back towards Adora and steps a bit closer to the side of the bed. Adora doesn't let go of her wrist now that she's turned back and Catra doesn't want her to. Catra hides her threateningly growing grin into a fond smirk, before exaggeratedly rolling her eyes, "Sure, dork." She says casually even if she's freaking out on the inside.

Adora smiles at her, soft and affectionate like they always are when directed at Catra, and it always makes her heart skip a beat. Adora scoots over and guides her under the covers using the wrist she's holding. The bed is warm, having laid where Adora just was.

Melog, who sits right at the edge of the bed behind Adora, now walks over her to lay down between them and on their intertwined hands. He isn't heavy and they could push him off if they wanted, but neither can find the strength to do so or let go of the other's hand.

They face each other, with Melog inbetween them, Adora smiling widely at her before Catra gives her a deadpan look at says, "If you start snoring, I'm telling everyone."

Adora looks surprised at the sound of Catra's voice, before instantly masking it with a look of feigned offense, leaning a bit closer to Catra and resting her head on Melog, "Me? Have you meet yourself?"

"I do not!" Catra protests with a slightly raised voice, and she hates how it goes higher.

But Adora just chuckles and doesn't lean back, "I've lived with you, Catra. It can get really obnoxious."

Catra doesn't reply, just whips her tail that has under the covers at Adora's leg to hit her in retaliation. Adora chuckles at her, and Catra leaves her tail resting there over Adora's leg. She leans closer as well, resting her head on Melog as well, the top of her head touching Adora's chin. "You're an idiot, go to sleep."

"But I'm your idiot." Catra doesn't see her smile, but she can feel it.

And Catra just once again rolls her eyes at her because she knows Adora can feel it as well, both knowing each other too well, "Unfortunately." She says and closes her eyes.

Catra drifts off to the sound of Adora's soft laughter, and the feeling of her hands over her, and all she can think is how lucky she is.

They still have a long way to go, but she knows that in the end, they will always be together.


	3. New Presence

Catra would always be the first to think of sleep as a prized privilege; and escape from the cruelty of the real world. She remembers all the sleepless nights in the Horde, from all the aches and pains from training or from some form of cruel beating.

She would always be the first to flop down of her and Adora's shared bunk (that they definitely knew wasn't allowed, but no one stopped them) and instantly curl up and fall asleep. Adora used to make fun of the fact that could be considered a talent, a mercy from the day. A true cat, being able to fall asleep whenever and wherever.

Sure, she had the occasional nightmares during the old Horde days, all of the cadets did, it was just a part of life for them. It happened frequently, and everyone just learned to ignore the gasping breaths or the screams from the other rooms by people awoken from nightmares.

It happened to Catra and Adora too, but they were always... quieter about it. Sleeping on the same bunk and knowing each other as well as they did, the other could always sense when the other was distressed. Usually shaking the other awake discretely and them both settling back down.

Adora was Catra's rock, her source of comfort, and Catra was Adora. At least until she wasn't.

The nightmares got a lot more frequent once Adora left, or more likely, a lot more noticeable. Catra had been trained by that point to keep her suffering quiet, so she never made a sound, but she more restless nights then once she didn't have anyone to comfort her.

She wonders if that's how Adora felt once she left. If she had as many frequenting nightmares like Catra had. But she doesn't have to wonder, does she? Catra saw it, when she first stepped in the room. The shuddering breaths when she first jumped away, panicked, until she hid it once she saw Catra and Melog.

And Catra knows she hid it because why else would she want Catra to stay with her? Or maybe... she just wanted her.

And next to her, she can't feel any movement or writhing, shuddering breaths, pained groans. Catra opened her eyes to settle on Adora's peaceful expression. Her eyes are closed, and Catra can tell she sleeping by soft even breaths. Melog too, who still rests between them.

Catra's eyes squint from the light that hits Adora's body under the sheets, and Catra can tell they haven't been asleep for long, seeing as the light from the window is still bright. She wonders what's going on inside Adora's head, what thoughts or dreams (or nightmares) she might be having right now.

Catra knows her own are filled with thoughts of Shadow Weaver, the bright snaps of dark electricity against her body, shadows crawling along her, her destroying herself and the creature for her and Adora, and remembers how they didn't pick up the remains of her mask, the remains of her.

Or how she's lost so many battles, remembers being tossed around by the princesses or She-Ra or Hordak or even Scorpia, and the crushing defeat and burning shame at the loss or more importantly, her own actions.

Or the loss of Adora by her side and the guilt of wanting to hurt her, the rage at being left behind, the dread of the emptiness without her, walking the bare halls alone and with everyone avoiding her path once she lost her tamer, let loose the wild animal that she was.

Or the feeling of the chip controlling her mind and feelings, her actions to hurt her friends (or well, at that point, the people who were always on her side), the delightfully evil smile Horde Prime sent her way because he knew he could control her, and she knew she had failed.

Or the feeling of a heavy body on her arms, Adora's body, and where they had almost failed saving the entire universe, where Catra has failed to save Adora. She thinks that one might hurt the most for the both of them, but for different reasons.

Catra sighs, and tightens her hold on Adora's hand still gripping her own, and thinks about how much Adora must've needed this. Catra needed this too, but she has always failed to put in consideration what Adora was feeling.

It must hurt literally carrying the entire weight of the universe on her shoulders, having everyone rely on you when you can't even figure yourself out. Adora doesn't have She-Ra anymore, at least not right now, and Adora is trying to pick up the pieces in She-Ra's place.

The literal goddess that She-Ra is isn't Adora, a scared and confused growing teenager. Well, they aren't exactly teenagers anymore. Not with the position they're in.

A soft yawn breaks her out of her thoughts and looks over at Adora, who's now awake and leaning up. Catra smiles at her mussed hair until she smirks, "Hey Adora." She purrs and Adora's head snaps over to her.

"Catra." She says and smiles, not noticing Catra's sudden internal crisis of her love-struck gaze, and breaks their handhold under the sheets and Melog to fix her hair and bring it back to her signature ponytail.

She feels a bit disappointed to have let go of Adora's hand, but covers it up with a smirk and asks with genuine curiosity, "Have a nice nap?"

Adora sighs, and it's tiresome, even though she had just a few hours of sleep, "Yeah, after a long time." And Catra frowns for a second, and then flops back down on her back, hands crossed on her chest.

"Yeah, I feel that. I can't remember the last time I actually slept." 

"You can say that again." Adora huffs, then looks over at Catra after she's done with her hair to reach over and grab one of Catra's hands, giving her an affectionate smile, "Besides, it was better when you were here." And the way she says it is so genuine, Catra tries not to melt and jump at Adora.

"Uh- no problem then." She uses her other hand to rub the back of her neck, exposed by her now short hair, and slightly grazes over the scar from Horde Prime's chip that makes her quickly extract her hand from that spot.

"How did you sleep?" Adora asks, and Catra doesn't realize Adora asked her a question until a moment later.

"What?"

"How was your sleep?" She repeats, slightly tightening her hold on Catra's hand.

And Catra looks down at the bed, the sheets covering up her legs and the presence of Adora's hand in hers that's set on Melog's back who doesn't even seem to mind, and looks back up to meet Adora's inquisitive blue eyes and says honestly, "Good."

"Good."

Catra looks back to Adora's smile, and has the sudden urge to reach out to her, until a soft _woosh_ of Adora's door has her quickly snapping her head over. There stands Glimmer and Bow, hand and hand, and smiling at the pair almost snuggled up together (if only there wasn't a giant alien cat in the way).

Catra is about to stand up, until she realizes her hand is still clasped with Adora's and instead stays laying down to quietly seethe her words over at them, "What are you doing here?"

Glimmer smiles and walks closer to them, leaving Bow at the door, "Meet us back in the war room. Both of you. We'll give you two twenty minutes, and don't be late." She says authoritatively, but with a teasing hint, and has a no non-sense queen look on her.

Adora, obviously, is instantly worried. She jolts up a bit, looking over at Glimmer, "Why? What's going on?"

"Don't get all riled up just yet. It's nothing bad. Just meet us in a bit, okay?" Glimmer sets to reassure Adora. She probably knows as much as Catra, as much as everyone, that Adora needs her time to rest up and doesn't need extra baggage. Or at least, extra baggage of going back out to fight some giant ancient army again.

"So quickly after Prime?" Catra asks, because it has only been like a day.

But Glimmer nods, and says, "The job isn't over yet just because we saved the universe today."

"...Today." Catra mutters cynically, earning herself a gentle nudge in the ribs by Adora. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best comment to make. "Okay, yeah. We got it Sparkles."

"We still have a lot to discuss. All the other princesses are waiting but you two." Glimmers queen mood or whatever now just completely turns teasing as she purposely glances at Catra's and Adora's hands clasped tightly together over Melog, who's looking behind him, not daring to dislodge their hands off his back.

"I'm not a princess!" Catra protests. Even after all this time, Catra refuses to be called a princess. No way is she walking around with a tiara and glitters thrown on her.

Glimmer smiles mischievously, "You are now."

"Wha- you- no!" Catra's ears flatten, and whatever semblance of dignity she has was flung out the window the second she opened her mouth. 

"But you're She-Ra's girlfriend. She has enough magic for you both."

"We're not- huh..."

"Okay! We'll meet you there, Glimmer." Adora interjects ("Before Catra literally combusts." She can faintly hear Bow in the background), "Give us a minute."

"Twenty minutes or I'm barging in on- whatever!" Glimmer throws her hands up, walks out of the room satisfied, and teleports her and Bow away before the door closes.

And all that happened in less than like five minutes...

Catra ignores Adora's chuckles as she extracts herself from the bed, and it feels like the worst thing ever having to move herself from a comfy bed with Adora in it. She's muttering under her breath, "Princess. What a joke." That has Adora laughing even harder.

She whips around to look at her girl-gah, Adora, "Stop laughing!"

Adora's laughter calms, and she rolls on her side in the bed with her head propped on her hand, looking Catra up and down meanfully, "I'd love to see you act like a princess."

"Good luck."

That earns Catra another chuckle, "Trust me, I thought the same thing when I first met the princesses. They'll have you in dresses and tiaras before you know it."

"I don't have any princess powers though." She reminds Adora, gesturing to the length of herself.

Adora simply points to Melog, who looks innocently at the two, "You can talk to animals." And okay, that's pretty true.

Adora gets up as well, Melog hopping off as well when he noticed no one was on the bed with him anymore, and goes to put on her red jacket slung across on the back of the chair. Adora's shirt and jacket still have the torn cloth from the slash she had received only like a day ago, the wound still exposed. Catra knows better than to say anything though, because like hell Adora would actually listen.

Especially about herself the stubborn little princess.

She needs an ass-whooping once this is all over about her hero complex. But, Catra isn't exactly one to be talking, is she?

"You ready?" Catra looks up from where she was peering out the round window into the grounds of Brightmoon, and sees Adora all ready with her hand out, waiting for Catra to offer her own.

Catra licks her clawed hand, smoothing back her short mane, then places that hand into Adora's, watching with amusement Adora try to suppress a look and rolling her eyes instead, "Yeah. All ready."

Adora tugs her hand and drags a languishing Catra behind her down the shiny halls and to the direction of the war room. This feels normal, Catra notes through her laughter. Adora putting up with Catra's antics as Catra pulls them with no remorse. No biting words or vicious glares anymore when they were enemies, just teasing words and eye rolls like it used to be before.

The only difference: It isn't before. And Catra isn't sure if that's a good or bad thing yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was more of like a trauma character study with a bit of Catradora, but you have to address the problems before you can start healing. I just want them to heal and be happy for real.  
> Also, I'm not sure what this chapter was.  
> -OLW peace!


	4. Deal With It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is amazingly dumb. Probably my favorite one.

It's only been like a day since the end of the universe almost occurred, but everyone seemed to have settled down already. A few guards patrol the halls, it's mostly quiet but there's some murmuring from passerby's often talking about their own subjects.

A few people glance over at them, mostly to peer at Catra with piercing eyes and suspicious glances, instead of Adora- who is literally the "Great She-Ra"- but Catra supposes everyone has already gotten used to her presence in the past few short years.

Catra isn't sure why but she feels a stab of anger at that thought. Not at the thought that they've been able to have Adora for a few years where she hasn't (though it _may_ be a little bit... only a little), no, it's from the thought that they've gotten used to having the Great She-Ra around to protect them from whatever. That they think she wouldn't fail and place all the thought of danger to She-Ra, hoping she deals with it.

And what Catra knows they don't account for is the fact that She-Ra is Adora. And the fact that all this stress of protecting everyone would lay quite heavily on Adora's mind, which it has, to a very unhealthy amount. Catra doesn't even recall the last time some random person, either it be from the villages they saved or Brightmoon itself, came up to Adora to ask if she was okay.

Unintentionally, Catra's claws flick out and accidentally pierce against Adora's hand, causing her to look back at Catra who doesn't even seem to notice. She tightens her hold on the magicat's hand a fraction to bring her out of her thoughts, and Catra looks up startled. She instantly retracts her claws, and looks away from Adora's over-the-shoulder glances.

Catra can feel the tense muscles in her entire body, but wills it to keep her from squeezing Adora's hand. She doesn't want her to let go. And Catra won't let go, even if she sees the confused and envious (that's right, bitches, I got Adora) stares in their direction. She feels self-conscious, though Adora seems to show no signs of such, but she just tightens her hold once more and keep Adora close and continues trailing close behind.

And they make it in record time, as in, nineteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds. Adora drops her hand, which Catra tries to tell herself doesn't disappoint her immensely, to push open the grand doors to the war room to be greeted with all the princesses (with Bow, Micah, and Seahawk), and Melog who had gone ahead of them.

They all look up once Adora opens the door and they enter the chambers. They are sat at the table, with a hologram of a map between with red glowing dots at certain positions, and they all completely abandon that to smirk at them with teasing smiles from their previously serious expressions.

Entrapta, surprising, bounds over the table towards them using her hair and asks, "What took you guys so long?" And Catra can't tell whether it's a genuine question, or a teasing question. She looks eager as always with a wide smile, but her eyes don't seem as oblivious as it usually seems.

Or maybe Catra is reading too much into this and is used to people teasing her about her and Adora's relationship. Honestly, it seems everyone knows their business now. Well, not like they didn't before, but extra now that they aren't enemies and are actually a... a thing?

Whatever. "Whatever", Catra says, and slides up in front of Adora, "What do you dorks need us for?"

The hologram projecting from the table disappears to reveal Scorpia, smiling widely which somehow turns into an even broader grin, "Oh? Were we interrupting something?"

"I mean, no-" Catra tries to shut this down quickly. Tries, is the key word.

Mermista cuts Catra off with a nonchalant wave of her hand, leaning back with a teasing glint in her eyes, "Yeah, we can pick this up another time."

"Wouldn't want to disturb the newly found couple, now would we?" Perfuma pipes up from behind her companions, and Catra glares in her direction (she thought they had a connection, how dare she betray her now?)

Everyone joins in with their nods and verbal agreements, all teasing and joking at the expense of Catra and Adora.

"Just make sure you wash the sheets." Glimmer says offhandedly, looking down at a physical map with Bow, who glances up at her words with a barely concealed bark of laughter. Catra sees the others turn their faces away or cover their mouths to keep from laughing as well. Even Micah has retreated to the corner and hiding himself from Catra's glares.

Catra is at a loss for words, staring wide-eyed with a gaping mouth at the grinning princesses at the table who look all too pleased with themselves. Catra looks behind her shoulder to find Adora covering her face with her hands, no doubt dying of embarrassment as she, but Catra can hear the faint sounds of muffled laughter from her.

And okay, it's a little funny, but not when pointed towards her. And it seems to only be towards her, or Adora is just that good at not caring and being oblivious. Something tells Catra that isn't the case though.

She whips her head back and forth between the snickering princesses and her mortified but chuckling... Adora, face bright red, and just crosses her arms and storms over to a seat. Melog follows faithfully, but slowly behind her. Catra drops herself down, kicking her feet up on the table, and raises her voice over the laughing princesses, "Okay!" They start to quiet down at bit, "Seriously. Why do you need us?"

The princesses haven't stopped laughing and she's vaguely aware of Scorpia wiping away a tear and Perfuma leaning on the back of her seat for support, but her focus is mostly taken up from Adora sitting next to her and she's still laughing a bit as well. Catra can't help the smile that grows on her face.

Someone comes up behind her though before anyone can quiet down and begin and taps her on the shoulder. Catra looks up to see Seahawk, who smiles and bows in a mocking gesture, "Excuse me madam, would you be so opposed to let me sit there so I may be next to my faithful Mermista?"

Catra looks down at her seat, identical to every other one, and looks around the table. All the seats are taken by the princesses, and even Perfuma who was hanging on the back of Scorpia's chair now sits elegantly in her own seat, "Where would I sit then?"

"Well, you're a cat." Entrapta states, as if that makes a difference.

"And?"

"And you have a perfectly disposable lap next to you." She continues, pointing to Adora, who looks a bit shocked. Catra can see her face going a bit crimson, and has no doubt her own is a hundred times worse.

"You want me to sit-" Catra stops, leaning up from the chair startled, and her legs fall from the table. Her claws come out and her tail poofs in embarrassment. Melog who sits next to her whines, but it seems mostly for her sake, as the alien cat seems amused in his own way.

"Well, you weren't against it on the ship." Glimmer says, now having abandoned the maps like everyone else. And wow, Glimmer, calling Catra out like that.

"But that's different!" Catra protests.

"How?" Glimmer prompts her once more.

"Well, you guys weren't there! Trying to-"

"Get our favorite couple together?" Netossa says, finally tearing her own eyes away from Spinnerella to join the conversation, and Catra really has to consider if they're trying to come for her.

"Hey!" Glimmer calls out. Bow doesn't look nearly as offended.

Netossa barely spares her a glance, "Sorry. But, come on." She holds her hands out towards them, gesturing towards the two, "Just look at them."

Glimmer leans forward casually on the table, previous comment protest instantly lost, "And they could be all cuddly and nice if Catra would just-"

"Why am I stuck with you people?!" Catra cuts her off.

"Because you love Adora." Perfuma states as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And okay, it is.

Catra groans, slumping down a bit in the seat, dragging clawed-hands down her face, "Why are you so eager to get me into- like..." 

"You can't tell us you don't want to." Netossa quirks a brow.

"Plus, I still do want my seat." Seahawk says behind her, with a hand on Mermista's shoulder to the right of her.

"Adora! Help me out here!" Catra cries out, turning to Adora for help, only to find Adora with her head cradled in her arms on the table, shoulders shaking with quiet laughter. Okay, so obviously they're just targeting Catra. "Adora!" Catra tries again, reaching over to shake her shoulder harshly.

Adora rises with a smile, trying not to bust out in laughter again, and pushes her chair back a bit. "Catra, it's okay. Just come here." She pats her leg invitingly, and Catra can only stare at her, aware of the others gazes and how they're failing miserable to hide their smiles.

"Wha-"

Adora shakes her head, "They're not going to stop. Just come her and let's get this meeting over. Believe it or not, we still have things to do."

Catra can only continue staring at Adora's blue eyes, which look semi-serious (she still does have to get all her stuff done and wants to see what's happening) but also semi-joking. Catra slowly rises from her seat, and hears small squeaks of surprise and happiness from the princesses, and her seat gets dragged away from out behind her.

Well, no going back now. Thanks, assholes. Sincerely.

She walks over to Adora, who keeps her eyes trained on her with a smile and quirked brow. And in a quick movement, places her weight down on Adora's legs, leaning back and stretching her body over the arms of the chair. And everyone keeps their gaze on them a moment longer, before Glimmer catches their attention and now actually begins the meeting.

They were definitely planing this but Catra can't find herself to care right now as she lays splayed on Adora's lap (like a true cat, she thought she had a better hold on her urges) and watches Adora also focus her attention on the meeting. It's something about people or villages or goddamn houses, who knows, Catra doesn't.

All she can focus on is how she'll take advantage of this right now. And while Catra will adamantly refuse it whenever it's brought up, she enjoys this. Damn, she really is a cat. Wait, what are other cat ways to annoy Adora?

Catra slightly props herself up, and Adora leans down at the same time.

"-And perhaps we'll do something a bit later." Adora whispers in her tuffed ear that makes it flick once Catra's settled properly, and instantly goes back to the meeting. Catra must have some strong willpower to not just fall straight off her lap and die right on the floor.

This is going to be one interesting meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I couldn't help myself with that line. You should know which one I'm talking about. You know the- yeah. Honestly like any line, but-  
> But, new chapter. I would've written more, but... you know, Avatar came out so-  
> Okay. Tell me how you feel about the chapter, or perhaps what you would like to see or are curious about, if you would like.  
> -OLW peace!


	5. Learning to Forgive

Well, to say that meeting was a disaster would be an understatement. Aren't these princesses supposed to be all professional- but then again they are princesses, all ready to tease someone to death just to make them get together with their one true love and all that bullshit.

Ugh- Catra would deny the fact that she actually enjoyed the meeting (for reasons nobody normal would think, hmm) and would also deny the fact that she almost sprinted out of the room with Adora in tow once the meeting was over. She's not that undignified to do any of those things? Nope.

No, it's not like she's running around with frilly dresses and tiaras, talking to animals and waiting for a savior like in all those old fairytales-

Wait.

Oh god- what have those princesses done to her?

What's next? A cape?

Now instead of being their feared enemy, she's running around with them doing mundane things and teasing each other. And Catra _likes_ their company! And now she's helping them!

Catra shakes her head of these thoughts, like she could ever stand the thought of even being a princess and now her worse nightmare is coming to play, well- Catra glances to the side to see the person walking next to her and smirks- maybe it isn't a total nightmare.

At least not at the moment. Not for her, actually.

Catra's smirk fades into something much more somber, her eyes glancing downward to the ashen ground filled with debris charred wood. Her own feet kick it up as well as Adora's own next to her, though her steps are a bit more deliberate and well-placed, as if she doesn't want to ruin anything else.

It doesn't matter to Catra, she's walked in too many places that's been destroyed, conquered, burned- Catra takes a deep breath- but this one feels different.

Sure, she's had a number of her own places she's destroyed or the Horde has, and she's always felt pride to see that her side was always that much closer to winning (with an overwhelming sense of dread to go along with it, but Catra always ignored that part) but now-

Now, she feels disgusted at herself and the Horde to have ever been apart of it. To tear down these people's homes and thought it was a _good_ thing. Catra looks up, right in front of her, and sees the broken houses on the path. What was once complete is now completely broken, never to be the same.

The houses will be rebuilt, bigger and better most likely, but not the same. The village can erase the marks of the past, but not the villagers, those effected and plagued by what could of happened- or what did happen.

Some villagers walk along the path and pass by with disheartened expressions, some are rummaging in their old houses to find what they can salvage, some are just... sitting there, on their knees with their head in their hands like they never could've believed this could happen.

And Catra couldn't believe it either, if she was being honest. Her hands clench by her sides.

Is this what the people acted like after Catra had come to destroy their buildings?

What a coward she was. It's always better to destroy than to heal. Always took the more effort. Effort she didn't have, effort she didn't afford- because she was a _coward._

But maybe now she can change that.

And she can start now, as a ball rolls in front of her feet.

Catra looks up from surveying one of the damaged buildings with Adora, and sees there were a few kids kicking around a ball at the edge of the town, away from most of the destruction. One of them ended up kicking it too far where it bounced off of a demolished wall from one of the houses, and rolled right in front of Catra's feet when she was walking by.

_Change._

Catra inwardly smiles and simply kicks the ball gently back to them and right into the middle of their group, and they smiled and waved at her, one of them yelling out "Thanks, Cat lady!" before running farther off with his friends.

 _Change._ A good one.

Small, and insignificant in the long run, but one none the less.

And while anybody would argue that she has changed already- helping out the princesses and Horde Prime during the universal war and might have possibly saved the universe because she was with Adora to give her strength (because the power of love is now really a thing, even if Catra doesn't want to say it is), it certainly doesn't feel like it.

She may be living with the princesses now and working with them, that doesn't just erase what she had done in the past. All her bad actions before still made her a bad person... even if she didn't want to be.

God- this is really confusing.

Catra didn't even realize she was frowning until Adora nudged her shoulder, because of course Adora notices what Catra doesn't want her to notice.

Catra looks up into Adora's earnest eyes which stare slightly down at her, as if trying to read her, "You okay?" She asks hesitantly.

No, of course not. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, you were just glaring at the ground like it wronged you."

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine." Catra makes the mistake of looking away and dismissing her too quickly, and looked forward once more towards the path not wanting to look at Adora's expression.

Adora looked at Catra for a few moments, knowing something was wrong with how quickly she dismissed it, but also knew never to push her into talking about her feelings. It would just draw her away, and whatever thoughts going inside of Catra's head now were not something to be messed with.

So she does what she does best and completely and awkwardly changes the subject, nudging at Catra once more to gain her attention, "So how does it feel helping people out with the Rebellion?"

Catra stubbornly crosses her arms and looks around them, gazing at the entirety of the destroyed village, "I don't feel like I've really helped anyone out yet."

"Sure, you have." _You saved me._ But Catra decides not to read that line. "You just gave those kids their ball back." Adora points over to the kids and Catra looks over.

All of them are smiling and laughing with one another. They don't even seem to be playing a game, just kicking at one another in a circle so they all get a chance at it. The ball just bounces harmlessly between all of them. "It's just a ball, Adora." Catra shakes her head.

"Yeah, I know. But you could've just as easily popped it." Adora grabs her hand, raising it between them to show off Catra's retracted claws, and stops and thinks for a few moments, "Hell, I remember a few times you did that to me, Lonnie, and the others."

Catra doesn't pull her hand away, but it tightens defensively while her shoulders tense at the reminder of how much of a brat she was. _Is_. "Yeah, well, I didn't feel like doing it."

"Because..." Adora drawls out, and stays quiet to make Catra answer.

"Because it would be wrong." Catra answers, finality in her tone. _You're wrong._

But all it does is make Adora laugh, and use the hand she's holding to pull Catra into her chest for a hug. "I'm so proud of you." She very gently tugs on the end of Catra's ear in a teasing gesture, and Catra's tail flicks behind her.

Instead of swaying in an annoyed fashion, Catra wraps her tail on the back of Adora's calf. She doesn't return the hug, but lets herself lean into Adora. _She doesn't deserve it._ "You should tell me that more often." She says, fondly.

"Hmm... Maybe I will." And pulls back, with Catra trying not to feel disappointed at her leaving until Adora grabs her hand once more to continue on down the path.

They walk in silence for awhile, just surveying the area and doing what they're suppose to be doing. Well, Adora's doing it, but Catra's just trained her mismatched eyes on Adora. It's not an uncomfortable silence, it's never been uncomfortable with them, and Catra's willing to freeze this moment forever and keep it the same.

But then she wouldn't have other opportunities to make moments like this.

By now, they've been here for a few short hours, where the sun is beginning to set, just walking and talking. Catra doesn't remember ever being able to do this with Adora in the Horde, not that she didn't want to. It's peaceful... and perfect- and Catra was never sure her life would turn out this way. Is her change finally paying off?

"So-" Catra begins awkwardly (and while silence was never awkward, they always seem to have poor social skills), slightly swinging their conjoined hands.

"So?" Adora looks away from the village they've been walking through, stopping her scouting to look at the nervous Catra.

"Why did Glimmer send us here again?" Catra settles on, because she may or may not have forgotten why they were here. Not for her definition of sightseeing anyways.

"Weren't you listening during the meeting?"

Catra turns a nice shade of red with the sunset seemingly mocking her, "I may have been a bit... distracted." 

Adora chuckles, turning a bit red as well knowing exactly what Catra means, but explains once more nonetheless, "We're here to help out the villages close by with repairs. Since the... war... is over, the princesses have to go back and tend to their own kingdoms and help out the villages near there."

"Why is it just the two of us?"

"We're simply 'scouting', as she puts it." Because of course that's what she's said. Jerks. "Seeing how bad the damage is. Like how many supplies are needed and how many people have to be sent out here."

"These villagers must feel awfully lucky the Might She-Ra is here." Salty Catra is salty. And she punctuates this with an over-exaggerated eyeroll.

"Actually nobody has approached me. They probably know I belong to you."

Catra's eyes widen and Adora shrugs, not noticing Catra's reaction. Belong to her... Adora belongs to her. 

_No, she doesn't._ She said it herself. _She's lying._ No, she's not. _Not the first time._ Shut up!

Catra closes her eyes tightly and shakes her head, opening them once more to land on a woman jogging towards them. _Belongs to me._

Catra raises her free hand and points past Adora, "She doesn't." And Adora turns her head to see where she's pointing.

"Oh! That's the camp leader. I should go talk to her."

Adora lets go of her hand, and Catra reaches out slightly to take it back before snatching her hand back. _Doesn't belong to her._ Instead, she slightly raises her arms in a exasperated tone. "Hey, what about me?"

Adora stops and looks back at her, "Do you want to come?"

"No..."

"Thought so." She starts to walk backwards to meet the camp leader and calls out to Catra, "Then see you later, Catra. Don't destroy anything." And she doesn't even say that as an afterthought that Catra can't help but be oh, so offended. The audacity.

"Hey! I'm well behaved!" She calls back weakly.

Adora simply chuckled and walked away from Catra, farther into the destroyed village to meet with the camp leader. Catra doesn't care or even want to see their interaction, and decides maybe it is best she finally does what she was suppose to do, starting once more down another path.

The one leads right into the village, and seemingly where the damage was most present, almost near the edge of the town. Catra has to be more cautious of her steps, sometimes hopping over complete beams of wood or patches of glass shards to keep on the path.

This part is quiet, or at least much quieter than the rest of the village, most likely because it's the most damaged and all the people were told to stay completely evacuated from it. It sets her on edge, the eerie stillness, reminding her of the halls on-

But nothing is going to pop out at her. No robots or clones or princesses or... alien cats. Not anymore- but she can't help but pull out her claws as a just in case. Silence isn't normal, anywhere and not anymore.

But neither is noise.

Catra's ears perk up, hearing a few clatters and sweeps of glass across a floor. Her claws pull out a bit more, and she slightly leans down, creeping over and following her ears to the sound of the noise.

As she gets closer, she hears a few strange half-curses and something of a woman's voice. The clattering continues, but it's soft thuds, and she can tell the person is completely unaware of her or anything around her. What?

The woman's voice gets louder, seemingly elderly, but Catra still can't make out her mutterings. Catra's ducked right under the broken window when the footsteps to the collapsed wall in front of it start to get louder.

Catra crouches down a bit more and doesn't have enough time to hide as an... elderly woman walks out from the collapsed wall and looks straight at her, totally unafraid of this random magicat sitting there.

The lady looks over eighty, short and slightly hunched over with pure long grey hair and rounded glasses. She's wearing an odd clothing choice she hadn't seen on anybody else.

"Excuse me?" The old lady says to her.

"Uh...", Catra straightens out, completely confused. But say something, idiot, "Yeah? What were you doing in there?"

"You're one of the people who came with She-Ra, right?" She asks, completely ignoring her question.

"Umm, yeah. Can I help you? What's going on?" To say Catra's confused is the biggest understatement ever.

"Oh. My house was one of the ones destroyed and it seems some personal items of mine are trapped and I would appreciate your help in moving it." The old woman says, and walks back through the hole in the wall, seeming to assume Catra would follow her. Which she does.

The lady continues walking through the house- half a house- deftly with Catra continuing her questioning, "Shouldn't you be with the rest? You know, evacuated. Or you know, you could've had someone else help you. It's not safe here."

"Oh I know, dear. But I asked and nobody wanted to come back and help a poor old woman, so I just came here by myself. I didn't realize how bad it would be the move all this."

"What's so important that you ran- came back into danger?"

The lady's eyes dim slightly, looking down, "My... daughter once made me a scrapbook with pictures in them. We kept it in the attic, and haven't touched it in years ever since- she had passed on. But once everything started going wrong and I lost the house, I realized the only thing I could focus on was that scrapbook." The lady moves towards planks of broken wood and beams, reaching down and attempting to lift it, dropping it once more once it's a few inches off the ground with a dull thud.

Catra moves and gently pushes the lady away to take hold of the beam and lift it up. Shes successful in leaning it up and above her head, where the lady looks up into Catra's wide eyes, "Haven't you ever had something or someone you thought you could live without, but you realized you never could?"

And Catra nearly drops the beam on herself, before pushing it forcefully away and on the undisturbed ground with a loud bang. She grabs another plank to throw onto her new pile while the lady continues, "I haven't touched it in so long. But I realized that with my old and tired mind, I wanted to remember all those memories. We all hide ourselves from pain, but hiding isn't the same as having to work through it."

Catra can't believe she's found herself in the middle of a broken home, having her moment of enlightening with an old woman that is unknowingly and basically calling her out. She moves another beam that crashes against the floor, "I know what you mean." She says, throwing another plank into the opposite pile.

"I know you do." Or maybe she does realize. What's with all these old ladies being able to read people's minds?

The lady suddenly points to the edge of a leather book peeking out from under a plank, "Look. There it is."

Catra steps over the other beams and onto planks to remove the book from under the debris and swipes her hand over the cover to clean it off. The cover says one simple word "Mara", and it seems so familiar, but Catra just can't place it. Catra walks back over to hand the book over and the lady takes it so gently from her hands to clutch it to her chest.

"Thank you, Miss..."

"Catra. Just Catra."

"Thank you, Catra. You are doing a wonderfully important service to these villages." The lady looks back down at the book covering with the word for a long moment, "And you have no idea how much this means to me."

"I think I do have an idea. I just want to help out." Catra answers honestly, looking towards the pile she just created.

"And it is much appreciated forever in this weary old body." The old lady turns away from Catra to start back through the house again, but looks back to Catra even though she's facing away and still looking at the broken pile of planks, "And will you do me on last favor?"

"Okay."

"Be sure to tell her before it's too late." Catra's eyes widen and her heart stills, "I wish you safe on your travels, Catra." Catra whips around but the old lady is already gone like the wind.

It's eerily quiet once more, with the sky getting darker with each passing moment. How long had she been here? What just happened?

She stays in there a moment longer in the broken house, confused but elated, and sits down on the splintering wood in the broken house, just staring out from the collapsed hole in the wall. This was definitely one hell of a moment of enlightenment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support on the story. This is honestly one of the happiest fandoms I've seen.  
> -Anyways, sorry it's taking me so long to write chapters. I have ideas and I have basic story outlines, but I'm having troubling kind of getting it to flow, y'know? I do have the next chapter or two planned so it will actually be out very soon.  
> -Also, I'm sorry if the old lady was a bit strange with her being Razz, but I thought it may have been good for Catra to get advice from her now that she's "affiliated" with Adora. I was originally going to make it a random old lady and then I thought, "Razz disguising herself to help Catra with her love life, excellent." Tell me if you thought it was a good choice.  
> Okay. Sorry, long notes. Also, it's 4am for me. Yay.  
> -OLW peace!


	6. Old Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One to two days, huh? Well, that went out the window.  
> I have no update schedule. I write when I feel like it. And now, I feel like it. I am always thinking of writing but sometimes sitting down for a few hours and forcing myself to think isn't very fun.

By the time Catra had walked out of the house and back where she originally was to meet up with Adora, it was nighttime. She had sat there for a good hour or so just questioning everything before she felt ready enough to come back out after the encounter.

Catra looked up to the bright stars, having never really been able to see them on the rooftops of the Horde facilities, always completely polluted with industrial smog. She might've been actually been able to enjoy them for once if the crushing statement _"Tell her before it's too late_ ", didn't keep ringing continuously in Catra's head.

 _Tell her what?_ Catra shook her head.

_Before what?_

_Who am I telling?_ No, that one's easy. There is only one person.

Adora...

But that reaffirms the thought of telling her what, and before what? Over and over and over... What could any of it mean?

Whoever that lady was... wasn't natural. She had seemed to be able to read through Catra just like that and, hell, half the time she couldn't even figure herself out. How she had spot-on advice, like she saw or _knew_ Catra. And how she had stood out from the other villagers, with different clothing and mannerisms, it almost seemed like she wasn't even from there.

And the name Mara felt familiar. Too familiar. But Catra's certain she never knew a 'Mara' before. Maybe the name wasn't for her? Maybe it was for Adora?... But why would Adora know a Mara when she has never mentioned that name before?

It's all so confusing... Maybe she's just overthinking it, she's been doing that a lot. But... She wasn't exactly sure what to feel about that, if she's being honest.

She'll just go to Adora, explain the situation and what the old lady told her (because she has no idea what _else_ she's suppose to be telling Adora), and then they'll figure it out together. Yeah... together... but what if it's just for her?

No, it's fine... Adora needs to know. And Catra needs to tell her.

She will tell her. No problem... Right?

Catra looks away from the stars overhead that seem to mock her now and walk away from the broken house behind her, away from the encounter, but not away from the dreadful words. 

* * *

Once Catra had reached the pathway from where she and Adora parted, she saw Adora sitting down, leaning against a broken wall, looking utterly bored and obviously waiting for her. Her knees were slightly drawn up, and her chin rested in her hands, looking out onto the forest beyond the village. The sight made Catra smile.

She stood there for half a second, just enjoying the view, until silently approaching her from the side. Catra walked slowly, contemplating what she wanted to say to Adora (and maybe wanting to enjoy the sight just a bit more), until she was about five feet away from her.

Catra's eyes glowing in the dark, she suddenly smirked, and realized Adora still hadn't seen her. Instead of making her presence known, she started to creep behind Adora with even more silent and diligent footsteps.

Looming over the oblivious Adora, Catra suddenly threw herself forward and curled her arms around Adora's shoulders with force, making her slightly jolt forward and startle at the presence until she adjusted to the weight on her back. Catra lowered her head and purred, "Hey Adora."

Adora tilted her head to Catra, then up a bit, and without warning, blew into Catra's ear to make her reel back a step. "Hey Catra, have fun?" Adora said, watching Catra paw at her ear for a moment before leaning back with her elbows on Adora's shoulders once more.

"Yeah, I guess. If you count seeing a weird old lady rummaging around the houses."

That got Adora's attention, Adora craning her head up and Catra looking down to try and meet their eyes, "Weird old lady? Who goes out there at this time?"

"I asked but she didn't really answer me. She said she wanted help getting some old scrapbook and gave me some weird advice..."

"I have experience with old ladies like that." Adora said absentmindedly, and completely casually that Catra gave her a look.

What? "What?"

"Nothing. So what advice did she give you?" Adora dismissed, and Catra would so get information about that later, finding it weird she asked about what the lady told her and not more about what the lady was doing there. Adora and her freaking weird-ass magical adventures, making this seem like a normal thing.

Adora tilted a brow up, and Catra realized she hadn't said anything for a few moments. Catra felt her ears pinned at her head, and her tail swishing in a nervous gesture that she knew Adora recognized. What the hell does she say?"Uh...She said that I should tell you that..."

Catra is cut off by the sound of braying from right above them, and they look up to see Swiftwind hovering above them with all his colorful glory (or at least what he would call it), "You should get going! Come on, Adora!...Catra." He ends a bit spitefully, before brightening up once more and landing in from of them.

Adora is about to jump up to greet him, but stays sitting once she remembers Catra's arms are on her shoulders. Catra lets go, reluctantly, and Adora hops up to pet his side, "Swifty! What are you doing here?"

"Your faithful steed sensed you needed a ride." He puffs out his wings proudly around him, before lowering his head closer to Adora's with a grin, "Also, it's nighttime and you've been gone for hours and I need my apples. So climb on board, and let's get this show on in the sky!"

Catra throws her hands in the arm, glad for the distraction of what she was about to say, and starts to walk over to them, "Finally! I've been ready to leave this village for awhile."

"Catra..." Adora turns to her with a stern look.

"What? Come on, get on the horse." Catra says and sticks her tongue out at Adora, hopping up onto Swiftwind's back, and leaving her legs leaning out onto one side.

Swiftwind turns his neck a bit to glance back at her, "I have a name, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, QuickBreeze. Come on, Adora." Adora goes to jump deftly onto Swiftwind's back after throwing him a teasing apologetic look, and Catra swings herself right onto his back, wrapping her arms around Adora's waist.

"Can we drop her off from the sky?" Swiftwind asks as he takes off into the sky.

* * *

They've been riding for only a few minutes with Catra mostly completely relaxed (come on, she's like hundreds of feet up in the sky) with her head resting on Adora's back, and she feels her start to speak more than hear her with all the wind rushing against her ears.

"Hmm?" Catra replies, right next to Adora's ear so she can hear her. 

"What were you going to say?" Adora's voice carried over to her.

"When?"

"Back at the village before Swiftwind got us."

Oh shit. Uh... "I was going to tell you you're an idiot."

"Oh, of course." Adora replies, completely nonplussed, then waves a hand, "But seriously-"

"Nothing. I'll tell you later." Catra tries to cut her off casually, but she fails and makes it more of a dismissal with a flick of her tail.

The dismissal is obvious, and a bit harsh, and Catra feels a bit bad when Adora doesn't say anything back. She just turns around once more. Adora isn't usually one to push too harshly about an issue, but she isn't usually one to be completely nonvocal about an issue as well.

Catra knows Adora isn't mad or annoyed at her, because she never is with Catra or anyone for some damn reason, she knows Adora knows that something's up and is a bit hurt by the quick shut-down.

It's not that she doesn't want to tell Adora anything, it's the completely opposite in fact, to the point where she has to stop herself from completely telling her everything all the time. But that that old lady said, _"tell her before it's too late"_... she's not to sure what to tell her. Or what too late is...

Maybe she should just tell Adora. Tell her what though?

* * *

After what seemed like a long ride home, with the awkward tension suddenly in the air from the obvious dismissal, and with Catra pressed up against Adora's back with her hands around her waist (in a loving and totally not terrified gesture, nope. Catra doesn't do scared) and her tail resting on her lap as well to keep it from whipping in the wind (same can't be said for her ears, poor cat ears), they landed with a heavy-hooved thud onto the marble ground of Brightmoon.

Adora pushed herself off first, then offered a hand seemingly habitually up to Catra that she rolled her eyes at but took anyways and jumped down as well. Adora placed her free hand on Swiftwind's nose and with a promise of giving him special apples tomorrow, led Catra into the castle by their intertwined hands as Swiftwind flew off behind them.

Brightmoon always felt... bright at night, but always much more peaceful with barely any guards patrolling the halls at night, very much unlike the Horde. It was always dark and guarded at any point of the day, but Brightmoon always had light to it and always felt wide and free.

Thinking back, Catra would be the first to literally beat herself up over choosing the Horde over Brightmoon, over Adora. It's ridiculous how clouded her judgement was only what... a few months ago? A few weeks ago?

She had started having doubts, she had always had doubts, but she only really thought about how _wrong_ she was once she had joined the Rebellion... No, once she saved Glimmer on Horde Prime's ship... No, once she had been captured on Horde Prime's ship... No, once she had been defeated and embarrassed after facing Hordak and seeing Glimmer... No, once she had pulled that leaver to the dimensional portal... No, once she started to fight against Adora.

No... Once Adora had left her- left the Horde- behind for good.

But she's changed... or tried to change. With accepting the princesses, helping them out, trying to help the villagers out, and she basically helped saved the universe (even if she doesn't accept that she helped with that).

Catra's left the Horde behind for good as well. And not even just the Horde, just her horrible ways. Her ways of wanting to hurt people, have them suffer the way she has suffered. Changing herself, trying to, so people _don't_ have to feel the way she did, instead of inflicting it.

And even with that, she's not too sure everyone has accepts her yet. Not like she minds, nobody ever really accepts her, nobody but Adora. But she has Adora, so it's fine.

Or will she have Adora... if she doesn't tell her? If she does tell her? If the 'too late' happens?

Catra looks down to their intertwined hands and makes up her mind and opens her mouth to catch her attention, "Adora-"

Adora looks back to her as they had reached the hall leading to Adora's room, someone suddenly raced around the corner and almost bumped into the two. All three of the them jumped back, and Catra looked up to see Scorpia with an apologetic and startled expression, with a small timid smile plastered on her face.

She waved a claw at them, her voice a loud cheer, "Catra! Adora!" She reached around Adora to Catra and pulled her to her into a only slightly crushing hug that raised her a few inches off the ground before releasing her, "Boy, am I glad to see you."

Catra steps back a bit to Adora's side, a bit jealous Adora didn't get pulled into a bear-hug, with Adora asking, "Scorpia, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I know you guys just got back but Glimmer told me to come get you guys. For a mission she said only we can do." Scorpia explained with nervous hand- or claw- gestures, fiddling with them.

"Oh yeah? What was it?"

"Ahh, well.. she said, way to put me on the spot..." Scorpia rubbed the back of her neck. What's making her so nervous? "She said she wanted us to go to the Fright Zone."

Oh. Huh?! "The Fright Zone? For what reason?" Adora asks, always ever so calmly just as Catra exclaims, "Why the hell would we go there?"

Adora and Scorpia looks a bit taken aback by her outburst, but she can't fathom why. Didn't they hate the Fright Zone just as much as her? "She said that yeah, even though the Horde was our enemy, the soldiers their are now all scattered with no where to go. That we should go and recruit them, and they might have a better time turning over to us if they see friendly-"

"-Friendly-" Catra grumbles.

"-Familiar faces." Scorpia corrects herself quickly, "So, what do you say? Will you come with me? And please say yes."

"Do we have a choice?" Catra growls coldly. Literally growls.

Adora reaches out a hand and grips Catra, pulling her slightly closer to her, and Catra instantly stops growling, "When are we going?" She asks Scorpia, turning back to the continuously fiddling woman, who seems to be even more nervous now.

"In a few days. It gives us more time to check out the other villages and... accept... the decision to go." Scorpia says hesitantly. They both look at Catra, but she isn't looking at them. She doesn't meet their eyes, even if she can feel their pitying gazes.

"Okay then... Guess we're going to the Fright Zone." But even with the pity of the two, she can feel the fear and nervousness radiating off them as well. What a horrible decision Sparkles made.

"Yay..." Catra said sarcastically, but couldn't quell the overwhelming fear of dread at the mention of the place. So many memories wanting to permanently plant themselves in her mind and play all at once, but she didn't say anything. Not to Adora, not to Scorpia, not to anyone. At least not yet.

So instead Catra just follows behind Adora and Scorpia as they walk down the hall together to continue and talk about the mission, both trying to give her an in into the conversation that she repeated waves off, as they reach the door to Adora's room. Catra doesn't listen to them anymore, not wanting to hear them talk anymore about the Horde or it's people, and walks into the room without looking back and without Adora.

The plants herself on the bed and curls up, hiding her face in her arms. She doesn't cry, she doesn't want Adora to see her like this when she inevitable enters the room in a few minutes. She doesn't want anyone to see how affected she is by this.

Catra doesn't want to go back to the place that started it all. Her home.

Her... home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hey guys, new chapter. I hope you all enjoy them, even with my writer's block wanting to consume my mind. The support on this story is amazing though, and thank all of you for it.  
> -And no, I want to make it clear that Catra isn't the only one with problems. This is told from Catra's POV (for now), but once we get to the Fright Zone, we will see a lot more of the mentality of Adora and Scorpia and maybe Hordak. I might even switch POV's, I dunno.  
> -So tell me what you think. Criticism, praise, comments, wanting to talk... I don't care. I'll reply to you if you want.  
> -OLW peace!


	7. Dreadful Arrivals

Catra has to go back to the Fright Zone in a few days. Catra _has_ to go to the Fright Zone in a few days. Catra has to go to the _Fright Zone_ in a few days.

Catra needs to go to the Fright Zone in a few days.

But does she?

Yes. It'll be good for her.

_By reliving all her horrible memories. All the abuse and manipulation... and-and loss._

But that isn't happening now. That isn't her... she's changed.

She's not alone anymore. She has her friends- friends- to help her now, to be there for her; Glimmer, Bow, Scorpia, Perfuma, Frosta, SeaHawk, Micah, Mermista, Melog... Adora.

Adora... She remembers those lonely days in the Fright Zone without her.

The bare bunk she had without her, the carved pictures of them as kids scratched away by her. The walls felt more constricting, the halls darker, the machines louder, the air more toxic. Catra hadn't realized what she had lost, what choose she had made, and it hadn't sunken in until she finally laid down in their bunk.

Catra remembers how Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio had tried to console her a few times, but she always pushed them away (sometimes even forcefully) to the point even they stopped trying to reach out to her.

And then she started to take advantage of the loneliness. Nobody was there to see her change, nobody was there to hold her back. And she started to climb the ranks, fast, with nothing getting in her way. But-

Her rise to power meant nothing. She felt nothing, pushed away everyone to get to a position where she felt even more numb. What a mistake. And it wasn't even her worst one.

And in that position of power, she hurt even more people. She had sent soldiers and tanks to peaceful villages for conquering... for what? The Horde? She always hated them anyway.

She had only done it because she had nothing left to lose. She only did it because it made her feel powerful, make her feel... what? Good?

No, it didn't.

She only did it because, 'Why not?'. God, what a hopeless... ugh.

All those people suffering by her hand, by her rules. Just trying to go about their day and there she was to ruin it all! Burn down their villages right in front of their eyes, massacre those who didn't bend to her will... by the Horde's will.

Catra remembers walking through those villages, not unlike the one today- seeing all the debris, the flames and smoke, the blood, the- the death.

And she had done this to so many innocents... but also to her friends. How many times had Catra mocked them, caught them, ruined them... hurt them?

All of them!

She can still see the scars on Adora's back, the punctures of Glimmer's and Bow's arms, the scratches on Scorpia's own claws. Hell, she even has her own self-inflicted claw wounds.

She's hurt herself, and them... and everyone!

She can't believe she fought them. She can't believe she had done any of this! How far gone was she?

How could anyone forgive her after everything she's done? They shouldn't. They should lock her up or abuse her like- yeah.

Instead of doing what she should've done all along, be with them all along, she let herself be abused and manipulated because she left- yes, she left- the only person who actually believed in her behind.

She fought under Hordak, a pawn just as her, but one with a hell of a lot more power than her.

Both of them, playing each other, as both of them got played by Prime. 

She got tortured and manipulated by Shadow Weaver throughout all those years, and then she actively seeked to provoke her and let herself be manipulated once more... But not the final time.

And that whole time with Horde Prime- the manipulative asshole. The goddamned destroyer of galaxies and Catra thought _she_ had _him_ under her thumb. Such a joke, and she was proven quickly wrong.

But she doesn't regret doing what she did for Glimmer. Her one good choice.

At that point, she wasn't looking for redemption- didn't want any- and she paid the full price for it.

But obviously, the dumbass Adora came for her, even when she explicitly said to not. But obviously, what was she expecting?

Adora saved her- again.

But once again, Catra is going to be going behind her back. Being too much of a coward to tell her about what that old lady told her, or at least told her to say to Adora.

Why is it always a mess? Why is she a mess?

Catra can't actually change, can she?

* * *

Five days- _Five days_ \- Catra's been kept up about this.

All the guilt coming back to crush her under the dread of having to go back to the Fright Zone. 

Each night, having to quietly get out of Adora's bed... their bed... to go outside and calm down, to make sure her own nightmares don't consume her mind. Each waking and sleeping moment a torment and a test of herself.

But she won't burden anyone with this. She can't. They're all dealing with their own problems, Adora and Scorpia especially, what makes her special?

It doesn't.

At least that's what she tells herself.

On the night before the departure of going to the Fright Zone, Catra awoke once more; her mind filled with memories and nightmares.

Flashes, not unlike the ones she had when connected to Prime, and vivid memories- being trapped and held down and... tortured by Hordak, Prime, Shadow Weaver, Adora-

No, Adora never hurt her. No matter how much her past self might have thought so- Catra spares a glance over at the still sleeping Adora- she never did that. 

Catra made a move to slowly pull back the covers, and swung her legs over the edge, preparing to rise. But before she could, a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. Catra knew instantly who it was, and instead of calming down like she normally did in Adora's presence, she tensed up at getting caught.

Adora shifted behind her, so her head rested on Catra's shoulder. She whispered gently into her ear, making it flick, "Are you scared?"

"No." Catra didn't even make it sound convincing and Adora was quick to call her out.

"Liar." Adora snorted, before quickly turning serious once more. Her tone became more somber and her eyes sincere, "You know, it's okay to be. I am too."

"Of what? It's just a stupid building." Catra dismissed. She was good at that.

"Catra..."

"Adora."

"What are you really thinking about?" Adora asks, at full attention.

_How can you forgive me? I am a failure._

Catra doesn't say that though. She just remains quiet. Lets herself wallow in her own doubts.

Adora doesn't say anything either for a long moment. Then she shuffled back down into the covers, keeping a single arm wrapped around Catra so she couldn't leave, and the other propping her head up.

"Lay back down with me." 

"But-"

"Stay." Adora said softly but firmly that Catra couldn't do anything but listen. Not like she could go anywhere else anyway.

"...Okay." And Catra did. She went back under the covers, letting Adora's arm stay around her waist, as she looked up to her.

"We'll get through this together. And with Scorpia."

"Okay, dork."

Adora smiled at the comment, before settling back down into the sheets. She closed her eyes, and Catra stared for a few moments longer.

She couldn't help but place her hand over hers, and mutter quietly, "I love you." And then she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I feel like I don't write with clarity. Like, I try to make the thoughts quick and conflicting because it feels weird to read, makes you feel conflicted yourself (at least, sometimes it does for me).  
> But, this chapter kind of sucks because I wasn't quite sure how to write it and it's also 5am... I might come back to change some or add some later.  
> So- opinion, do you like the way the thoughts are written? Like actual thoughts, just as jumbled as a human mind or should it be more clear?  
> -OLW peace!


End file.
